Séduire sans bouger

I’m hanging out with Will (who many of you will recognize from the videos in my Become A Master Communicator product) and he asked me a question which brought me back to some awful nights in my past.

He said, “I was hanging out with Khiem and his girlfriend, and there was this girl we ran into who was one of those loud girls. Everything she said was just over-the-top — amplified and loud. How do I deal with that? I mean, she was pretty. I thought she was hot, but how do I relate to her?”

Here was my answer: You don’t.

It’s so funny. As a man, we are so visual. We get so caught up with “the hot girl” that we tend to really never think about what it would like to hang out with her.

Can you imagine having a woman like the one Will met over for Thanksgiving dinner? She gets asked what she’d like on her plate, and she screams “drumstick!!” at the top of her lungs.

This person does not match who you are. This is not your personality style at all. This is not a person with whom you would get along.

So forget the fact that your penis is attracted to her, because that’s really all that is happening. Your eyes are attracted to her. Your penis felt some movement because it was attracted to her. That is all there is to it though.

It’s called penile attraction. Thank God it’s not fatal, because if it was a fatal attraction then other things would happen.

It is just penile attraction. That is all it is, so walk away from it.

You don’t vibe with her. You don’t relate to her. You two have totally different personalities. So walk away.

Il n’est jamais trop tard

Si on peut trouver Dieu sur son lit de mort, on peut certainement aussi infliger un râteau. Ainsi que pendant un mariage. Ainsi que pendant un accouchement, même si socialement, on pourrait vous jeter des cailloux.

Souvent, les novices en râteaux pensent qu’ils ont atteint un point de non-retour dans leur couple, l’équivalent affectif d’un quatrième Mojito avalé cul sec avant midi. On peut s’imaginer que certains caps sont définitivement franchis quand on a pris un crédit sur quarante ans, quand on a adopté un Labrador, ou même quand on a commencé à devoir aller en boîte SM pour pimenter sa vie conjugale.

Que nenni, mes amis. Que nenni. Aucun animal de compagnie, même mignon, aucun bondage, fût-ce sur une croix de Saint-André, ne peut vous retenir si vous choisissez de partir. Même votre banquier ne peut pas – c’est d’ailleurs l’unique chose qui le différencie de Dieu. Le râteau est la pochette-surprise du couple, qui vous fauche les jambes quand vous vous y attendez le moins. Le râteau, une fois passés les trois ans réglementaires en psychanalyse et dépression pour votre conjoint, se révélera être une merveilleuse chance de se réinventer, même après la ménopause et avec douze enfants à charge. Un râteau de pris, c’est toujours dix autres râteaux potentiels qui s’offrent à vous ! Les scientifiques appellent ce phénomène la « force exponentielle du râteau ». Plus on avance en âge, plus on a connu de ruptures, plus les râteaux se multiplient, au point que les biologistes travaillent sur le caractère viral du râteau.

Quoi qu’il arrive, et quoi qu’en pensent ceux qui en subissent les bords tranchants, c’est une merveilleuse leçon d’espérance que nous enseigne la Voie du Râteau. Rien ne dure toujours, et certainement pas l’amour. Dans les moments de doute, rappelez-vous de Jésus, qui a tout de même infligé un râteau tardif (trois jours) à la mort elle-même.

(Sexactu reprend une activité normale. C’était une semaine d’extraits du Guide du Râteau ! Avec Arthur de Pins !)

I challenge you . . . right here and now.

When I woke up this morning, I was thinking about how I could really ignite your life when it comes to meeting the opposite sex.

Last night I saw the movie “Avatar.” It is a really amazing movie. In it, the lead character had to learn a whole new way of life.

So my question to you is this: Are YOU ready to learn a whole new way of life?

Are you ready to do something that will forever push you out of your comfort zone?

Check out today’s video message. There is a challenge in there, as well as a chance to win three free hours of coaching!

Have a great Saturday!

Gestuelle du refus catégorique

Malgré tous vos efforts, le pire est arrivé : une fête super sympa, des jolies filles, des hommes pleins d’abdominaux, du champagne, des phéromones qui rendent les corps luisant de désir, des petits fours allégés, des strings qui dépassent – bref, le neuvième cercle de l’Enfer.

Balancer un râteau n’est pas facile. Nous autres égoïstes avons une âme (là, au fond). Nous connaissons le sentiment de compassion, même si nous ne le pratiquons pas. Torpiller l’amour-propre de quelqu’un, piétiner ses émotions et jeter son cœur dans le four micro-ondes le plus proche en activant le mode 800 watts ne nous amuse pas (à 900 watts, on en reparle).

Nous préférons donc éviter de déclarer nos râteaux. On peut infliger des râteaux d’yeux, de claquement de langue, de non-réponse à un coup de fil, de profil sur Meetic. Prenons un exemple classique de râteau non-verbal : en boîte de nuit, vous essayez de danser (seul face à un mur, ou enfermé dans les toilettes afin que personne ne vous approche), et là – blam, le piège. Une rousse incendiaire vient frotter son plancher pelvien sur votre cuisse. Réponse pleine de compassion : la laisser en plan. Cet exemple typique de pré-râteau vous épargne le véritable râteau.

En conséquence, tout ce qui peut passer par le corps DOIT passer par le corps. C’est plus simple et ça fait moins mal. S’efforcer de tourner le dos à tout le monde, en permanence, en se collant au bar, est un début honorable (ainsi qu’une bonne manière de boire trop). Trépigner, regarder sa montre, soupirer, adopter une attitude fermée avec les bras croisés, faire des scoubidous, terminer sa grille de Sudoku niveau 6 sur son téléphone portable, sont autant d’armes faciles à utiliser – mais en toute circonstance, le véritable adepte de la Voie du Râteau préférera la fuite. Déjà parce que tout le monde ne comprend pas le langage du corps. Ensuite parce que c’est plus humiliant.

Nous autres égoïstes avons une âme, mais nous ne sommes pas obligés de nous en servir.

(Le Guide du Râteau est blindé de copyright afin de protéger les illustrations d’Arthur de Pins, alias le Dieu de l’Illustrator.)

We’re all flawed. Every one of us is flawed.

If you are talking to someone you trust, honor and love and they tell you that your actions cause them pain and to feel things they never wanted to feel, do you defend those actions? Would you really listen?

In life, our ego is constantly protecting us. So many of you know that you are not good at meeting the opposite sex, but yet you always let your ego protect you.

Your ego will tell you, “Don’t worry. You just need a lucky break. Things will change. Spring is coming…” or whatever excuses your ego will provide you. Your ego may tell you, “There’s a party next week and you will meet somebody there.”

What you don’t do is anything to change yourself, because change is the toughest thing for you. Change means that we have to drop our ego and allow it to subside.

Nobody can change anybody else. The only person you can change is yourself.

You get out of life exactly what you put into it. So if you are in a spiral of life where things don’t work for you — whether that means disagreements with your boss, disagreements with your partner or not meeting the people you want to meet — it’s happening because you can’t embrace change.

It’s happening because your ego will not allow you to embrace change. Your ego is basically protecting yourself from embracing any type of change. We are all flawed.

I can’t stand when somebody tells me that I did something that caused them pain. I’m always about protecting myself.

Maybe the way that I deal with things is not the way they want to deal with things, and it causes them pain. So we’re all flawed.

So the next time someone challenges you about changing, do you react full of ego or do you react in an open way? The person who defends themselves is the person who is reacting out of ego, because your ego is defending you at all times.

My ego will defend me until the day I die. If you allow your ego to defend you until the day you die, you’re going to die alone and not having grown.

We all do things that annoy the hell out of people — partners, business associates and friends. If someone that you love tells you that something in your actions causes them pain, don’t look at them and say “Well this is how I’ve always been and no one seems to be bothered by it.”

If you like or love that person, you are going to say, “You know what, maybe that is something I need to work on and change in myself. Maybe that is a habit of mine, or maybe that’s the way I deal with things.” It really may not be that healthy.

Si vous avez besoin d’une upgrade en énergie / sensiblerie / amour (rayez les mentions inutiles selon votre sensibilité), je vous recommande de glandouiller un peu sur ce site.

(Et pour la couverture, ok, je plaide coupable. Le boyfriend fait deux fois ma taille et est prié de dormir sur la tranche du matelas, parce que si je ne prends pas 90% de l’espace, je me sens claustrophobe. Il paraît que ça fait partie du pack “fille” avec les pieds froids, mais personnellement, je pense que ce sont des questions de pouvoir qui se règlent, silencieusement, dans l’attribution de la couette. Vivement que les scientifiques fassent une étude là-dessus, tiens.)

Quitte à compléter votre glandouille matinale, allez lire les 24heuresBD de Bastien Vives.

Do you ever sit back and really think about what you want the meaning of your life to be? How do you want to be remembered? What do you want to accomplish?

I was at the dentist recently. Actually, I feel like I actually live at my dentist’s office. It’s not really a fun place to live, to tell you the truth. After undergoing two root canals, I feel like I’ve paid half of my dentist’s mortgage payments in the last year.

When you’re forced to sit with your mouth propped open for four hours, and as you are trying to ignore the sound of the drill and the taste of Novocaine, you start to wonder “How did I get here?” The simple answer is too much sugar and not enough flossing as a kid.

The really deep answer is when you ask the bigger question, “How did my life get to be where it is now?” That is the better question to ask yourself.

When you stand in front of the mirror and really look at yourself, what do you see? Who do you see? Are you accepting of yourself?

Do you have an extra line on your face? Do you have a smile line that you don’t like? Are you five or ten pounds overweight? Is your hair turning gray? Do you break out?

Are you accepting of yourself? Can you look past your flaws and absolutely love yourself? Can you accept the things that go wrong in your life, or when you don’t like something does it always become a crisis?

What is the meaning of your life? What do you want your life to be? Who do you want to become? What do you want to experience?

We talk too much about how to meet the opposite sex. When I throw in blogs about other things like relationships and things like this, I do it to get you guys thinking.

Life is not just about meeting the opposite sex. As we all know, loving yourself is the best gift you can give yourself every day. Accept who you are, where you are at and what you are feeling.

There are people who look in the mirror, don’t like what they see and will proceed to rip themselves apart. Stop beating yourself up.

So ask yourself where you want to be and how you want to define yourself. Do you love yourself? Full acceptance and love of who you are and where you’re at at this time in your life is really how you need to live.

I tell my personal story and journey to self-love, and tell how to go on this journey in your own life in my “Self Love Audio.” To start your own journey to self-love now, CLICK HERE for men and CLICK HERE for women.

Il y a peu , je me suis souvenu de l’un des cours de mon ancien professeur de relation-client, et si je me permets de le citer, ce n’est pas pour vous expliquer les techniques de charme qu’on fait à la petite vieille dans les bourgades provinciales pour lui vendre nos Aspiro 3000 , mais [...]

“On ne se vante pas d’être « pute », mais annoncer que l’on est « client » c’est presque pire. Le prostitué se fait payer parce qu’il a des atouts, il est sexy. Mais le client ? Non seulement il fait un peu pitié, mais c’est lui le responsable, c’est le pervers qui détourne la jeunesse.” Très très intéressant article sur la prostitution masculine chez rue69 aujourd’hui, camarades !

I think Verizon has it right.

Life is only as powerful as your network. Without the right network, however, you may never get to where you desire to go and what you desire to become.

Let’s dive deeper into your life. In today’s podcast, I talk about how to create a successful plan for your life – and not just for your dating life.

I also have special guest on in today’s podcast who talks about his network and how he “spread the love” to achieve greater success in his life.

To listen to today’s podcast, click here:

If this kind of plan sounds great to you, and you want to create your own personalized plan, then CLICK HERE if you are a man or CLICK HERE if you are a woman and I’ll tell you exactly how to do that step-by-step.