Séduire sans bouger

Five! Four! Three! Two! One!

No, it’s not the end of a football game. But isn’t that great when your team’s winning, you’re in the stands and you count down. “Ten, nine, eight…” What’s the point? They don’t hear you. The players could care less, and in their heads they’ve already counted down when the game was over anyway.

Sp here we are, December 31st, 2011, only a few hours to go until the most incredible moment of the year!
The strike of 12, when you’re standing in a room full of people that you have not talked to or connected with all night, and you desperately search around the room for the drunkest woman to kiss. That is the stupidest night of the year.

Most of you will be chasing the night tonight. You go out, trying to find the best party you can possibly find. When you get to that party, if it’s not good, you’ll say to yourself, “Man there’s no chicks here. We really need to go to the Holiday Inn bar down by Route 25, I heard there’s some cougars there that are looking to get lucky on New Year’s Eve.”
You’ll be searching all night long, when in reality tonight, all this night is, it’s just another Saturday night. It’s no different than last Saturday night, or the other 364 days this year. Who cares? You don’t need to go out with a bang.

In fact, you may not have had a bang the whole year. You don’t need to make amends, make up for bad parties, bad choices, bad dates, whatever it might be, by going out and trying to make this the greatest night of your entire year.

This is the most overrated night of the entire year, so instead, why not be proactive? Do something you actually enjoy where you know you’ll have a good time. Go see a movie, stay at home, have dinner with friends or family. Do something that’s more enjoyable. Invite some friends over and play board games. You’ll certainly be more stimulated, and really if you think about it you’ll be more bored, and definitely a whole lot more anxious, at a ridiculous, overrated New Year’s Eve soiree.

It’s time that you did something different this New Year’s Eve and stopped chasing the New Year. Allow the New Year to come to you. Allow the New Year to happen on its own, and allow the New Year to manifest the way it’s supposed to. You’re not going to make up for a year’s worth of bad nights by going out and maybe find someone to kiss at the stroke of midnight.
It doesn’t matter if you kiss some sloppy drunk person and have a funny story to tell going into the New Year. It’s not going to change your life or the way you are with women, just because you were able to make out with a sloppy drunk girl at the stroke of midnight, so stop being an amateur and act like a professional.

Professionals don’t count down at the end of the game. Professionals embrace the win and move forward and think about what to do the next day to become even better.

Après les 12 indispensables du relooking pour cet hiver, puis ceux du lifestyle, le suspense n’allait pas vous décoiffer, vous vous doutiez de l’article qui allait arriver. Mais avant de commencer, une précision. Vous vous attendiez peut-être à une série de challenges orientés « défis » comme aller aborder 20 personnes et repartir avec 12 numéros, ou [...]

This is the perfect blog for the day before the most overhyped night of the year. I want you to read this before you think about those so called New Years resolutions.

Ever use sentences like this: “Some day I want to go to Italy…” “Some day I’m going to change my job.” “Some day I’m going to move.” “Some day I’m going to _____.”

People who use the term “some day” are people who are never going to do it.

Some day is putting something off into the future. And granted, there might be reasons, monetary reasons and so forth, why people put things off, but most of the things that people phrase with “some day” tend to turn into “no day.”

Now let’s reflect back. If you’ve noticed, it’s something I’ve been wanting you to do a lot of this month. I want you to reflect back on you’re your and I want you to think how often and where in your life that you used that term, “some day”?

And think about that over the last year, and two years, and three years.

How often have you used that term, “some day”, and what “some days” have actually turned into todays?

How many things have you said “some day” to that, in the end, never amounted to anything at all?

I want you to think about that for a bit today.

One of the cool things about being me is that I actually get cool things to try out once in a while for free.

No, this is not David bragging, or talking about himself and how happy he is with his life.

About a month ago, the good folks over at Norelco sent me this new product they have called the Senso Touch. It’s an electric razor that kind of slides up and down all over your face. It can be wet, it can be dry, basically whatever you prefer. We do not talk enough about grooming here but once in a while its a great topic to go over the ups and downs of manscaping!

Guys, I have to say, I’ve never liked electric razors. Never enjoyed using one before in my life. It just feels like every little hair on my beard is being pulled right off of my face. It always drove me crazy whenever I tried to shave with an electric razor. Plus, I would always miss all the hairs on the side of my neck with the damn thing! Its not like I’m the hairiest person in the entire world. It’s not like I’m Wolf-Man or anything.

My beard isn’t the thickest, either, but electric razors just never really do the job.
I have to say though, I’ve been using the Norelco Senso Touch here and there for the past month, and it’s just an amazing shave. Not only does it work as opposed to other electrics I’ve used, it’s just an effortlessly easy way to shave. Whether I’ve got one day’s worth of stubble or two, it just glides right over your face. You can shave wet or dry and even without lube your going to get a great shave. Just seeing if your all paying attention here, with the lube remark:)

I’ve really come to enjoy using it. All of you guys should check it out. I enjoy it, it’s fun to use, and it’s 100% practical.

And how exactly does this relate to dating? Simple. Women love a clean shaven face, guys. They want to be able to kiss and caress that soft face of yours. They want it to feel just like a baby’s butt. Ok, maybe I’m reaching with the baby’s butt thing… Ill see you guys tomorrow.

If anybody else knows of a product they’d like me to try out, send it to me and ill let you know how I like it. I’m always into trying out new things.

Being a holiday week, I thought I would keep the conversation light and fun today. So what better topic to go over today than the fun male game of who would you rather.

I was watching a movie the other night called “Hall Pass” with Owen Wilson and Jason Sedakis. It was a Farrely brothers movie which I did not realize until, during the course of the movie, all these ridiculously hilarious scenes based on the stupidest things in the entire world weer scattered throughout the movie.

But I’ve got to say, it’s really a fun, good movie. Definitely a dude’s movie, not a chick flick at all.
So there was a pretty funny scene in the movie where they’re sitting around, talking, playing poker, basically they’re doing total guy things. They’re going around the table asking things like, “How much would you spend if you could have one night with a Hawaiian Tropic model and your wife would never find out?” And they were arguing about bidding on it. $3,000, $4,000, $5,000?

Guys sometimes do the stupidest things like that. Like that would ever happen, like a Hawaiian Tropic model would hang out with you for a night and basically have you pay them for their company.
Who cares, you and your friends are never going to bid and win a night with a Hawaiian tropic model in the first place. Hawaiian tropic models . . . Who wants a Hawaiian Tropic model, anyway? You’ve got to think about the career goals of a woman who decides that her lifelong dream and profession is to be a Hawaiian Tropic model.

Another funny thing that men do all the time that I think is just ridiculous is when they sit around and then start doing the Who would you rather bang? game.
“Who would you rather bang, Mila Kunis or Scarlett Johanssen?” Scarlett.
Then you’ll go, “Ok, Mila Kunis or Jennifer Aniston?” Hmmm…Mila Kunis.

And you’ll go through all the celebrities. Cameron Diaz or Angelina Jolie? And you’ll sit there and have that conversation for about a half hour, and then you’ll argue about why Mila Kunis would be a much better lay than Jennifer Aniston or Scarlett Johanssen.

The thing is, if any of those women were every standing in front of you, you’d bang any of them in a heartbeat. Let’s get real. Secondly, you’re never going to be standing in a line at a market, coffee shop, or movie line with them behind you, where you can look at them and say, “Excuse me, I had a conversation with my nerdy friends the other day and I decided I would rather bang you, Mila, than you, Scarlett.”

In reality, your only debate is who you will be masturbating to that night. Mila or Scarlett…hmmm which one does your hand want to please yourself thinking of?

I mean, it is the stupidest game in the entire world. You might as well play this game and make it more realistic: Challenge each other. Say hey, would you rather bang the Nordstrom’s counter girl, the Sephora perfume girl, or the barista at Starbucks? Play that game and then challenge one another to go and see who can get a date with the barista or the Nordstrom’s girl. Be a little productive in your conversation instead of acting like a bunch of nerdy lunatics.

All right, so here’s my question of the day to you: Who would you rather bang, Mila Kunis or Scarlett Johanssen?
Got you, huh? Let’s see how many people actually answer.

I’ve got to tell you, I’ve been watching some really cheesy movies over the last couple of days. That is what the holidays are all about.

I haven’t sat down to watch any new movies in a long time, so decided to click through the Pay-Per-View and the On Demand selection and check out what’s been playing.
I’m going to give you a rundown of some of these doozies I’ve watched.

I watched a movie called “The Dilemma” starring Vince Vaughn. When did Vince Vaughn start looking like Alec Baldwin? He used to be a tall, skinny guy; now he’s become a chubby, young Alec Baldwin lookalike. Anyway, he was in this movie with Kevin James called “The Dilemma.” Here’s the big dilemma that took two hours to finally figure out: Winona Ryder’s character gets caught cheating on her husband by the guy’s best friend. That’s right. Vince Vaughn’s character actually sees it happen. So he spends the whole movie chasing her and her lover around town and can’t decide whether to tell his best friend that his wife’s been cheating. Unbelievable, huh? So the question is, what would you do if you saw your best friend’s wife or girlfriend cheating on him? Would you tell him right away or would you turn it into a really bad two-hour movie?

The next movie I saw — totally unrealistic by the way — was called “Friends with Benefits.” First off, okay: Mila Cunas and Justin Timberlake. That’s about all you need to know about this movie. So, what happened during this amazing two-hour, stretched-out movie that went nowhere and really just had the characters playing out the same topic over and over again? Basically, here’s the deal: Justin Timberlake moves to New York City through Mila Kunis, who recruits him for a job. They become friends, then because neither of them has had sex in a long time, guess what happens? They become friends with benefits. Meanwhile, they get along great. They laugh, they hang out together, they have all sorts of fun and inside jokes, they have sex like animals, and the woman looks like Mila Kunis. Let me ask all you guys: If you got a hot friend who you have an absolute blast with, you like her, the sex is some of the best sex you ever had in your entire life, would you ever leave her as your friend?

So stupid these movies sometimes. They’re just so not realistic. I mean, you’ve got a hot girl who’s incredible to hang out with, you have great sex, and then you just want to be friends with benefits with that? I doubt it. And the ending was beyond cheesy that I’m not even going to give you a spoiler alert warning. Ok, I am going to ruin the very predictable ending for any of you who actually want to waste two hours and watch it…It ended in Grand Central Station with Justin Timberlake singing a song from another artist. Why couldn’t he have just sung Justin Timberlake music to her? I Want My Sexy Back. Or something like that.

So, if you’re going to spend time this holiday season watching bad movies, I strongly suggest you do not watch The Dilemma or Friends with Benefits. I’m sure you’ve already got enough dilemmas in your life, and on top of all of that I’m sure most of you would like to have a friend with benefits, and you don’t need to watch Justin Timberlake fake banging Mila Kunis for two hours.

Je hais les professeurs de français. A différents degrés, il émane toujours d’eux – même chez les plus brillants – une indéfectible odeur de raté. Mme Jobert, avec sa tête de chèvre et ses mollets de cheval. Mme Potron, bourgeoise déclassée et apprêtée dont on devait mieux se souvenir du prénom en boite échangiste qu’en [...]

It’s The Day After Christmas

All the presents have been unwrapped.

By now the parents have driven you crazy. You look around the house and think to yourself, “Okay . . . now what can I return that I don’t like?”

Well it’s too late to return Mom and Dad. I don’t think there’s any store that will take them back, unless there’s a new store called People Depot, where you can return all the parents and friends you no longer want to have around.

Can you imagine that? The day after Christmas, going in and returning all the people in your life you really have no need for anymore? That would be a really interesting thing to do. Walking into People Depot with a cart stuffed with your mom, your dad, a friend you don’t want to be around anymore (who’s got still some wrapping paper in his hair because you unwrapped the gift halfway and realized you just didn’t want it).

And as you walk up to the register, they scan his foot and go, “Nope this person’s not from this People Depot store. He came from Peoplestore.com.” So now you have to rebox everybody back in the box that they came in.

We can’t return people to stores. That’s from some left over Kris Kringle fantasy for those of you who still believe in Santa Claus.

So what are you going to do today? It is the day after Christmas. Everybody’s out and about, shopping, returning gifts, playing, going to the movies . . .you already know exactly what my advice is.
Get out of the house! Head to all the stores and ask people one simple question. One really easy simple question: “So tell me — was Santa nice to you this year? Did you get everything you wanted? And why on Earth would you think about returning a waffle iron? Waffle irons are so cool.”

So go out, be inquisitive, start conversations, and just have fun with people. First things first: Get out of the house. Have a good time.
It’s the day after Christmas. It’s only five days before the most overrated night of the year — New Year’s Eve! Oh boy. I just love New Year’s Eve.
Five . . .four . . . three . . . two . . . one!! Everybody!

The greatest night of the year, New Year’s Eve. Are you going to have the night that you imagined you’ll have? We’ll talk a little bit about the hype and the reality of New Year’s Eve later in the week.

But for today, get out of the house, go return your parents to People Depot, and go strike up some conversations and see what happens.

Twas the day of Christmas.
And all through the blog, not a creature was stirring, not even a Bob.

First of all, I wish everybody a merry Christmas. So, here we are, Christmas 2011! What is everybody doing?
I’m going to be really politically incorrect. Screw this “Happy Holidays” crap.

Let’s just face the facts: Today is Christmas day, and on Christmas you wish people a Merry Christmas. Most people aren’t really super religious anymore, so deal with it. It’s Christmas, it’s the day of gift-giving, it’s the day of massive disappointment on many kid’s faces because they didn’t get the presents they really wanted. It’s the day of putting on a fake face when your mother gets you that sweater you didn’t want.

Or your girlfriend or boyfriend gets you something you never really craved. It’s the agony on a child’s face when its grandparents come over and instead of a giant car or a big wheel, you get the itchy sweater that grandma knit and a check for $17.

It’s also the elation of being a child and not being able to fall asleep. We used to try to go to bed at 6:00pm on Christmas eve because we wanted Christmas day to come faster. We were up all night long staring at the tree wondering what was in there. I actually already knew, because I knew all the hiding places of the presents. Each year I would know every single present that was under the tree. I didn’t let my sister and brother know about it, I really did keep that a secret.

Christmas used to be amazing when we were kids. Now as adults, it’s lost all of the magic. We don’t get much of anything special because we already buy ourselves everything we want.

So what’s everybody doing this holiday season? How are you sharing this holiday season with others?

Today at Christmas I’m going to watch reruns of all my favorite Lassie episodes. There’s Lassie’s Christmas story, 1958. I’ll post it on the blog. There was some really unbelievable acting in the 50s, I’ve got to show you this.

Really, I have no idea what I’m going to do yet. But I know what I’m not going to do. I’m not going to open my presents and think about what presents I don’t like. I’m going to embrace all the presents that come in. As of now, Santa hasn’t paid me a visit yet.

But you never know if St. Nick will slide his ass down that chimney, and if he does, hopefully he won’t get stuck because my chimney has a pretty narrow shaft.
Anyway, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! Do any of you know who said that line? If you do, you get to go to Tom’s house for Christmas. It’s not tiny Tom, it’s tiny who?

And for those of you who always wanted to be a Santa in a mall, check out this strange group of guys.

Quand j’ai écrit le premier « 12 indispensables » (les vêtements) j’étais loin de me douter que c’était le point n°13 qui susciterait 99% des réactions et commentaires. D’abord parce c’était le point n°13, justement ; et surtout parce qu’il n’y était pas question de vêtements mais d’un classe-G AMG, dont la valeur neuve dépasse allègrement les 100.000€, et [...]