Séduire sans bouger

Happy Mardi Gras from Shogo!!

We’ve got a new format on the blog that I’m really excited about–every Tuesday we’ll be sharing a video of my latest piece of advice and inspiration to carry you through your week.

Hope you enjoy this week’s clip and I’m looking forward to reading your comments!

As always, if you have a question or comment or if you just want to get in touch, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter (you can click on my accounts right below this video) or in the comments section and I’ll get back to you.

Find me on Twitter @ShogoGarcia

Click here to friend me on Facebook and stay in touch!

You’re the man. You need to set in stone the plans that you make with women. For instance, if you talk to a woman on Tuesday and make plans for Thursday, and you don’t set a time for the date, don’t expect her to call you about it on Thursday and ask, “What time?”

Whenever you set a date, you need to tell her plain and simple when you’re one the phone with her, “Hey Thursday, let’s hang out at 8:00 at Joe’s Bar and Grill…” You set that date when you’re talking because otherwise, if you don’t do that, you’re creating more steps and you’re creating stress.

As a man, you need to lead. Always need to lead to get her excited about the date.

At the end of the date, capitalize. When is the time that she is emotionally connected to you to the most? At the end of the date. What do most guys do wrong at the end of the date? They look at her and they think to themselves, “I don’t want to be over-anxious right now.” And they walk away.

Maybe they give her a little kiss and they allow her to go back to her friends and recap the entire date. That’s when all hell seems to break loose because the second she recaps the date is the second she gets into her head and starts thinking that maybe you’re not right for her.

So here’s the deal: if you like her and you want to see her again, always close her at the end of the first date with a second date. Look at her, give her a kiss on the lips and pull back and then just go, “Hey, you know that jazz party you were talking about, let’s go Thursday.”

Make it fun, make it simple and close the deal because then she’ll tell her friends this story. God, I had such a great time and he asked me out for Thursday instead of, had a good time but I don’t know — he just didn’t ask me out. Just didn’t seem like he was interested. Don’t let her get into her head.

And don’t worry about when you’re going to sleep with her because you’re just going to put too much pressure on it. When you date, if you go out, and you do exactly what I said above, close her for the next date. Set up a great date that’s fun. Kiss her. Touch her a little bit. Guess what happens? You’re not going to think about when to sleep with her. It’s just going to happen naturally.

You need to get the idea out of your head that you need to sleep with her by the end of the third date. It doesn’t mean a thing. Sometimes you’ll sleep with her at the end of a first date; sometimes you’ll sleep with her by the end of third; and sometimes, at the end of a fifth date. It’s all about creating momentum.

Dating is all about momentum. Women look forward to it. It’s creating a story for them in their heads. They want it flow. We met at a Whole Foods. We exchanged numbers. He called me the next day, asked me if I liked the food. We talked. We met. He turned me on…

It’s all about momentum. You want to create a story because she wants a story; she wants to see the pieces of that story to come together.

Every relationship you’ve ever had, when it comes down to dating, has something called momentum to it. Learn the art of momentum. Go for it, and stop thinking about what people say and what women say.

But momentum begins with you. Conquer that woman. Take her on that journey, and she’s going to be turned on to you. That’s how you make dates work.

How important is your car when it comes down to meeting women?  

It’s a question that I get all the time, and it’s something that I don’t think anybody really talks that much about.  Here’s the deal: you must have a car—it’s very important.  Unless you live in one of the big cities where you can take public transportation, the rest of the world really is all about having a car.  But what type of car you have isn’t as important.

For some of you that can afford it, I’m sure you have better cars.  For some of you that have unlimited money, your car basically states who you are as a man—a lot about your identity.

But, most of us in the world don’t have the money to get the car that we want, so we’re forced to buying a used car.  We’re forced to driving something that we may or may not be that enthused about.  Maybe that 2004 Camry is not exactly what you always wanted. So how do you pick up a woman in that car and not apologize that you’re driving a white Camry when you’d rather be driving a silver Corvette?

Here’s the deal about cars: it’s not about the car you drive, it’s what that car represents.

I know you are thinking right now, a white Camry usually represents a conservative, nerdy guy. Maybe to you it resembles your grandmother’s vehicle.

That’s not the way she’s thinking about it.

When she gets into your car for the very first time, she’s evaluating not the car you drive, but the way you take care of that car.  Is your backseat piled with tons of stuff; garbage, and papers? Does it look like a homeless person is sleeping back there? She’s going to see all that.

Is the outside of your car one of those cars where people write “wash me” because it’s always so dirty?  Is there a distinct odor in your car, and nobody really knows what it is?  (Is it sweat?  Is it B.O?)

Guys, just make sure your car is clean, inside and out.  Make sure it’s detailed, waxed, looking good.  Because, when you first drive up in a shiny car—no matter what model, no matter what make—it’s is going to give her an impression of who you are.  It’s going to show her that you’re actually a guy that takes care of things.

When she gets into that car, make sure it’s clean. The seats should be clean.  Make sure she’s not sitting on any old potato chips.  Make sure there’s not a bottle of water at her feet.  Make sure the backseat is clean.  Make sure there are no crumbs in the cup holders.  No old bottles of soda in the cup holders.  Make that car neat in the inside.

And the next thing you want to do is make sure you’ve got the right music on, so when she gets in the car she’s sitting in an environment that’s friendly. I would play a little bit of Coldplay, maybe some David Gray, maybe some Ray LaMontagne, maybe some Death Cab for Cutie—just basically good, mellow music at a volume that’s not too high and not too low, just enough for background.

It’s all about setting the mood and giving her a great feeling. If the car is clean, smells good, and sounds good—you’re in business, even if it’s an old white Toyota Camry.

. . .

So ladies, help us  out a but and give us your opinion on this: is it important that your date have a car? Yes or no, and why? Leave your answers in the comments below.

Make sure to follow me on Twitter and send those questions to @Davidwygant.

And how did you all do with last week’s Friday Challenge? Who amongst you is still Master of Your Domain?

Make sure to follow me on Twitter and send those questions to @Davidwygant.

And how did you all do with last week’s Friday Challenge? Who amongst you is still Master of Your Domain?

Make sure to follow me on Twitter and send those questions to @Davidwygant.

And how did you all do with last week’s Friday Challenge? Who amongst you is still Master of Your Domain?

We hear the phrase over and over again: “The clothes make the man.”

Yet so many guys go out wearing the free t-shirt they got at the Microsoft Convention.  They wear the sweatshirt that they got at the barbecue.  They wear jeans that don’t fit them correctly, meaning they’re too big, too baggy, too over-dyed, what it might be.  A lot of men wear clothes that they bought 15 years ago or 10 years ago so that they get the most amount money out of them.

But here’s the deal: the clothes do make the man and that’s what it’s all about.

When you first meet a woman for the very first time, I don’t care if it’s a date or if you’re going to approach her in the super market: what you’re wearing tells her how you take care of yourself.  It shows her that you’re a well-made man, meaning you care about your appearance, you care about who you are, and you’re up on the latest trends and fashions.

Women in the olden days were all about fixing a man.  It didn’t matter what the guy wore because she knew once they got into a relationship she’d be able to go through his closet and basically eliminate all the bad clothes and get the man to dress exactly the way that she wants.

Those days have come and gone with the Internet and all the great online clothing stores. You can go get nice clothes at a discount without having to leave your home.  Women expect a guy to own his look and to have the right look for him.  It’s really important and it’s a detail that a lot of men forget about.

If you’re confused about what to wear, this is what I strongly suggest: go to your local department store, maybe a Nordstrom’s, a Bloomingdale’s or a Macy’s.  Find the cutest sales girl there is and walk directly over to her. Say, “Excuse me, I’m in dire need of a fashion make over.  I’ve got the worst taste in clothes and I’m tired of it, and I’d like to get your opinion on things. Take me around and show me exactly what I should be wearing.”

And then just go around and try stuff on!  When you come out of the dressing room, ask her what she thinks.  You can ask the other sales girls what they think too.  Ask some of the customers what they think.  It’s a great way to meet women, too.

You don’t buy much of anything at the first store because these women might be on commission, so they might not be telling you the truth. But go to another men’s clothing store and find another cute sales girl and ask her the same exact thing.  Do this all day long until you find the clothes that are in your budget that you like.

Make a list. Take pictures of what you like, so that way you know when to go back and what store to go back to and where to buy it.  Not only is it a great way to come up with a new look—which is going to be great for meeting women—but you’ll actually meet women while you shop.

Women love when you do this.  I do this all the time in my boot camps with the guys.  I always take them out and always get them to become the fashion victim. Women love doing make overs.  You can flirt and talk to them and hang out with them.  It’s a great way to practice your flirting skills.  It’s a great way to practice to approach skills, and it’s a great way to find a new wardrobe, so you’re killing two birds with one stone.

. . .

So, in essence, the man makes the man; but, the clothes make the woman notice the man.

Welcome to this post-Valentine’s Day edition of The Wednesday Podcast with David Wygant!

Today Obi and I discuss the major difference between the sexes, especially when it comes to arguments or differences of opinion.

Click play, listen, and let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

As far as I know, there really is only one holiday in February.

I’m sure you guys are all thinking, “What’s the holiday? Is it the President’s Day weekend?”  That one’s still not much of a holiday.  (Well, when we were in grade school and got the day off, it pretty much was a holiday. But I digress.)

And now I know you’re thinking Valentine’s Day, right? To me, that’s not a holiday for men, that’s a holiday for women.  I’m actually talking about the Superbowl.  That is a man’s holiday.  But, it’s over, and now we have to think about the next holiday, and that happens to be the dreaded Valentine’s Day.

Oh man, I’ve got to tell you something about Valentine’s Day.  Every single person for some reason or another dreads it.  You hear about it, you see commercials about it, and you think to yourself, “Man, I’m single, and I haven’t met anybody this year.” It makes you feel down for a split second.  Admit it, even being a guy you feel down for a split second because your buddy may have just hooked up with this really hot babe, and you’re alone.

But here’s the deal: I like it. Being single on a holiday that’s geared towards women—you can’t ask for a better setup.

Think about it.  Women, right now, are clearly in admittance mode that they’re all alone; they’re vulnerable, and they’re open.  They’re thinking, “Wow, another Valentine’s Day with no guy. Nobody’s taking me out for an overpriced meal. No one is buying me flowers. No one is buying me anything.”  I think that’s fantastic.

So here’s the deal: I love every single Valentine’s Day. Remember when we were little kids and they had those ridiculous little candies with the sweet messages on them?  They were like these things made out of talcum powder—so gross, but people like them.

What I would do on Valentine’s Day when I was single is I’d walk around with a big bag of that stuff, or a little box of it. If I saw a woman and I’d start talking to her a little bit, and I would ask, “So tell me, what are your big plans for Valentine’s Day?” And of course half of them would say, “Oh, I’m not dating anybody, I’m going to sit around with some friends. I’m going to watch a movie.” Or whatever.

And I would say:

“You know what, be my valentine. Remember how much fun it was when we were kids and we used to go to school on Valentine’s Day, and we all used to hand out great little cards to each other. And we would enable our crush.  That would be the only day that we were allowed to let our crush know that we actually liked them.  And we’d hope that they liked us back. I want to bring you back to those days.”

And then you reach into your pocket and whip out a box of those ridiculous little talcum powder things that have “Be My Sweetheart” on them.  You tell her to open her hands.  And as she opens her hand, you drop one in her palm.

She’ll start giggling and laughing.  What this did was it brought her back to the days of being a kid again. You gave her a great feeling, and that’s what women are all about.

Valentine’s Day is just about being goofy and having a good time. You don’t need to take it so seriously! Nobody does things like this, but I’ve done it. Oh, I’ve done it. It’s led to instant Valentine’s Day dates, and I’m not talking about an overpriced dinner, I’m talking about getting her to cook for me. It’s led to great invites to little parties, get-togethers later on that week; it’s led to a relationship.

It’s about creating a moment for her, and she will tell all her friends about this guy that she met at the supermarket, in the elevator, at Starbucks, wherever it might be, and how he cheered up her Valentines Day.

So for you guys who have trouble meeting women, practice this technique that I put out there. Practice it a little bit, and get out there and meet women this Valentine’s Day.