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I’ve been actually really enjoying this extreme honesty month.

I’ve been wondering: why did I not do this my entire life?!

Why do we dance around certain topics?

Why are we so afraid to really say the truth?

It’s amazing, when you’re 100% truthful and honest with people, they think you’re actually defending yourself, justifying things, or selling yourself.

It’s really amusing in a lot of ways.

I wanted to hang out with a friend the other night.  They couldn’t make it.

I said, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll sweeten the deal next time.”

She said, “What are you selling?”

I was like, “I’m not selling anything!  I like to sweeten the deals.  I enjoy doing things for people.  I enjoy hanging out with people, eating a good meal, whatever it might be.”

It was fun.

So instead, I had a client come over last night. He stayed late, and I looked at him and he seemed run down in so many ways.  He just didn’t have the zest, the pop, the energy that he always had.

And it’s because of his relationship.

So I looked him straight in his eyes and I said, “You need to end this for your health.” I went through a long synopsis of what I saw about him and how I was concerned. I gave it to him straight.

He kept saying that he hoped that his wife would change.

I told him that people don’t change. The only person that you can change is yourself. No one is going to change for us.

No relationship is going to miraculously get better.  No person is going to suddenly start to understand you.

We spend years hoping that people change. And they don’t.

Usually I would allow a client to engage me in the change conversation.  He would then tell me all the ways that his wife should change and can change and then I would listen to that and basically agree or rationalize with him, and say, “You know you’re right, give it another shot.”

But I felt like he was wasting time. I looked at him from a health point of view and I saw how stressed out he was—it wasn’t good. I told him that he needed to be honest with himself and make a decision, even if tough.

We’ll see how that goes.

Yesterday, I had a guy come to see a car that I’m selling for a friend.  He offered a ridiculously low number—$2,000 less than the asking price, and the care was already priced really well.

He then went into a whole sob story about his daughter’s birthday and how he needed to spend $500 on his daughter’s birthday, otherwise he’d be in trouble with his ex-wife.

I listened to him. I did.

And then I looked at him and said, “I don’t care. I’m not paying for your daughter’s birthday.  My friend deserves the money for his car. That’s fair to him, right?”

“All I’ve got is $14,000.”

“You shouldn’t have come over with just $14,000, you should have brought $16,000.”

I then paused for effect.

“Your final offer is 14? My friends wants 16. But I’ll tell you what: I’ll meet you halfway, plus 10%, for a final total of $14,800. My friend would be okay with that offer.”

“No, I can only do 14 because of my daughter’s birthday party.”

“Well, then go find another car.  Time is money.  You can run all around town, looking at different cars to try and hopefully find one that’s priced this low with this much work done, or you can spend the money because I know you have it.  Nobody just has 14.”

He just looked at me, hopeful.

“I hope your daughter enjoys her party.  But it’s not my friend’s job to pay for it. See ya.”

Later that day, he texted me:

All I’ve got is 14. Are you sure?

I sent him the same text back:

The number doesn’t change.  Good luck.  

And it felt good.

It feels so good to look at people and call them out.

It feels good to tell people exactly how you feel and not worry about being in your head.

And it’s fun to watch everyone’s reaction.

I’ve been actually really enjoying this extreme honesty month.

I’ve been wondering: why did I not do this my entire life?!

Why do we dance around certain topics?

Why are we so afraid to really say the truth?

It’s amazing, when you’re 100% truthful and honest with people, they think you’re actually defending yourself, justifying things, or selling yourself.

It’s really amusing in a lot of ways.

I wanted to hang out with a friend the other night.  They couldn’t make it.

I said, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll sweeten the deal next time.”

She said, “What are you selling?”

I was like, “I’m not selling anything!  I like to sweeten the deals.  I enjoy doing things for people.  I enjoy hanging out with people, eating a good meal, whatever it might be.”

It was fun.

So instead, I had a client come over last night. He stayed late, and I looked at him and he seemed run down in so many ways.  He just didn’t have the zest, the pop, the energy that he always had.

And it’s because of his relationship.

So I looked him straight in his eyes and I said, “You need to end this for your health.” I went through a long synopsis of what I saw about him and how I was concerned. I gave it to him straight.

He kept saying that he hoped that his wife would change.

I told him that people don’t change. The only person that you can change is yourself. No one is going to change for us.

No relationship is going to miraculously get better.  No person is going to suddenly start to understand you.

We spend years hoping that people change. And they don’t.

Usually I would allow a client to engage me in the change conversation.  He would then tell me all the ways that his wife should change and can change and then I would listen to that and basically agree or rationalize with him, and say, “You know you’re right, give it another shot.”

But I felt like he was wasting time. I looked at him from a health point of view and I saw how stressed out he was—it wasn’t good. I told him that he needed to be honest with himself and make a decision, even if tough.

We’ll see how that goes.

Yesterday, I had a guy come to see a car that I’m selling for a friend.  He offered a ridiculously low number—$2,000 less than the asking price, and the care was already priced really well.

He then went into a whole sob story about his daughter’s birthday and how he needed to spend $500 on his daughter’s birthday, otherwise he’d be in trouble with his ex-wife.

I listened to him. I did.

And then I looked at him and said, “I don’t care. I’m not paying for your daughter’s birthday.  My friend deserves the money for his car. That’s fair to him, right?”

“All I’ve got is $14,000.”

“You shouldn’t have come over with just $14,000, you should have brought $16,000.”

I then paused for effect.

“Your final offer is 14? My friends wants 16. But I’ll tell you what: I’ll meet you halfway, plus 10%, for a final total of $14,800. My friend would be okay with that offer.”

“No, I can only do 14 because of my daughter’s birthday party.”

“Well, then go find another car.  Time is money.  You can run all around town, looking at different cars to try and hopefully find one that’s priced this low with this much work done, or you can spend the money because I know you have it.  Nobody just has 14.”

He just looked at me, hopeful.

“I hope your daughter enjoys her party.  But it’s not my friend’s job to pay for it. See ya.”

Later that day, he texted me:

All I’ve got is 14. Are you sure?

I sent him the same text back:

The number doesn’t change.  Good luck.  

And it felt good.

It feels so good to look at people and call them out.

It feels good to tell people exactly how you feel and not worry about being in your head.

And it’s fun to watch everyone’s reaction.

It is extreme honesty month and women crave men who are men of their words.

If you tell a woman you’re going to call her, then you call her.

If you have sex with a woman, you don’t become text dependent. You don’t text her for two days. You get on the phone and you call her. You don’t substitute text conversations thinking that they’re real conversations.

Real men are men of their word.  

Women crave it, women desire it, and women deserve it. It makes them feel secure. It makes them feel good about showing their body, their heart, their soul, and their everything-else with you.

When you tell a friend you’re going to help him move on Saturday, you show up and you do it no matter what.

When you tell somebody you’re going to pick them up from the airport and you don’t feel like it at the last minute, you either pick them up or you pay for their cab.

It’s about becoming a man of your word. What you say is what you do.

There are a lot of talkers out there. They talk the talk but when it comes down to walking the walk, they have absolutely no concept of how to do it.

If you break your word with somebody, the first thing you need to do is apologize and explain yourself and admit that you were wrong.

There are no excuses in life and we’re full of them.

I was going to call you, but time ran out.

I was thinking about you, I texted you.

No. You call when you say you’re going to call. Women crave it, women desire it, and women deserve it.

Become a man of your word. That’s what this month is all about: becoming extremely honest.

If you run into somebody and they confront you on something that hurt them in the past, instead of going into defense mode, man up.

Look at them straight in the eyes and say, “You know what, I was wrong, you were right.”

It’s going to throw them a bit. They’re going to look at you and say, “You don’t really need to explain yourself,” and that’s when you become an even better man.

You look at them and say, “Yes I do, you deserve it. You deserve an explanation, you deserve the truth. And I feel honored to be able to deliver it to you.”

No more white lies.

No more beating around the bush.

Ask for what you want. Make promises that you can keep and if you don’t keep the promises, admit your mistake and become a man of your word.

. . .

I hope everybody had a really good week.

Share with me some of your breakthroughs, some of your raw, honest moments.

And also please share with me if you broke down and weren’t 100% honest and why.

It is extreme honesty month and women crave men who are men of their words.

If you tell a woman you’re going to call her, then you call her.

If you have sex with a woman, you don’t become text dependent. You don’t text her for two days. You get on the phone and you call her. You don’t substitute text conversations thinking that they’re real conversations.

Real men are men of their word.  

Women crave it, women desire it, and women deserve it. It makes them feel secure. It makes them feel good about showing their body, their heart, their soul, and their everything-else with you.

When you tell a friend you’re going to help him move on Saturday, you show up and you do it no matter what.

When you tell somebody you’re going to pick them up from the airport and you don’t feel like it at the last minute, you either pick them up or you pay for their cab.

It’s about becoming a man of your word. What you say is what you do.

There are a lot of talkers out there. They talk the talk but when it comes down to walking the walk, they have absolutely no concept of how to do it.

If you break your word with somebody, the first thing you need to do is apologize and explain yourself and admit that you were wrong.

There are no excuses in life and we’re full of them.

I was going to call you, but time ran out.

I was thinking about you, I texted you.

No. You call when you say you’re going to call. Women crave it, women desire it, and women deserve it.

Become a man of your word. That’s what this month is all about: becoming extremely honest.

If you run into somebody and they confront you on something that hurt them in the past, instead of going into defense mode, man up.

Look at them straight in the eyes and say, “You know what, I was wrong, you were right.”

It’s going to throw them a bit. They’re going to look at you and say, “You don’t really need to explain yourself,” and that’s when you become an even better man.

You look at them and say, “Yes I do, you deserve it. You deserve an explanation, you deserve the truth. And I feel honored to be able to deliver it to you.”

No more white lies.

No more beating around the bush.

Ask for what you want. Make promises that you can keep and if you don’t keep the promises, admit your mistake and become a man of your word.

. . .

I hope everybody had a really good week.

Share with me some of your breakthroughs, some of your raw, honest moments.

And also please share with me if you broke down and weren’t 100% honest and why.

It is extreme honesty month and women crave men who are men of their words.

If you tell a woman you’re going to call her, then you call her.

If you have sex with a woman, you don’t become text dependent. You don’t text her for two days. You get on the phone and you call her. You don’t substitute text conversations thinking that they’re real conversations.

Real men are men of their word.  

Women crave it, women desire it, and women deserve it. It makes them feel secure. It makes them feel good about showing their body, their heart, their soul, and their everything-else with you.

When you tell a friend you’re going to help him move on Saturday, you show up and you do it no matter what.

When you tell somebody you’re going to pick them up from the airport and you don’t feel like it at the last minute, you either pick them up or you pay for their cab.

It’s about becoming a man of your word. What you say is what you do.

There are a lot of talkers out there. They talk the talk but when it comes down to walking the walk, they have absolutely no concept of how to do it.

If you break your word with somebody, the first thing you need to do is apologize and explain yourself and admit that you were wrong.

There are no excuses in life and we’re full of them.

I was going to call you, but time ran out.

I was thinking about you, I texted you.

No. You call when you say you’re going to call. Women crave it, women desire it, and women deserve it.

Become a man of your word. That’s what this month is all about: becoming extremely honest.

If you run into somebody and they confront you on something that hurt them in the past, instead of going into defense mode, man up.

Look at them straight in the eyes and say, “You know what, I was wrong, you were right.”

It’s going to throw them a bit. They’re going to look at you and say, “You don’t really need to explain yourself,” and that’s when you become an even better man.

You look at them and say, “Yes I do, you deserve it. You deserve an explanation, you deserve the truth. And I feel honored to be able to deliver it to you.”

No more white lies.

No more beating around the bush.

Ask for what you want. Make promises that you can keep and if you don’t keep the promises, admit your mistake and become a man of your word.

. . .

I hope everybody had a really good week.

Share with me some of your breakthroughs, some of your raw, honest moments.

And also please share with me if you broke down and weren’t 100% honest and why.

It is extreme honesty month and women crave men who are men of their words.

If you tell a woman you’re going to call her, then you call her.

If you have sex with a woman, you don’t become text dependent. You don’t text her for two days. You get on the phone and you call her. You don’t substitute text conversations thinking that they’re real conversations.

Real men are men of their word.  

Women crave it, women desire it, and women deserve it. It makes them feel secure. It makes them feel good about showing their body, their heart, their soul, and their everything-else with you.

When you tell a friend you’re going to help him move on Saturday, you show up and you do it no matter what.

When you tell somebody you’re going to pick them up from the airport and you don’t feel like it at the last minute, you either pick them up or you pay for their cab.

It’s about becoming a man of your word. What you say is what you do.

There are a lot of talkers out there. They talk the talk but when it comes down to walking the walk, they have absolutely no concept of how to do it.

If you break your word with somebody, the first thing you need to do is apologize and explain yourself and admit that you were wrong.

There are no excuses in life and we’re full of them.

I was going to call you, but time ran out.

I was thinking about you, I texted you.

No. You call when you say you’re going to call. Women crave it, women desire it, and women deserve it.

Become a man of your word. That’s what this month is all about: becoming extremely honest.

If you run into somebody and they confront you on something that hurt them in the past, instead of going into defense mode, man up.

Look at them straight in the eyes and say, “You know what, I was wrong, you were right.”

It’s going to throw them a bit. They’re going to look at you and say, “You don’t really need to explain yourself,” and that’s when you become an even better man.

You look at them and say, “Yes I do, you deserve it. You deserve an explanation, you deserve the truth. And I feel honored to be able to deliver it to you.”

No more white lies.

No more beating around the bush.

Ask for what you want. Make promises that you can keep and if you don’t keep the promises, admit your mistake and become a man of your word.

. . .

I hope everybody had a really good week.

Share with me some of your breakthroughs, some of your raw, honest moments.

And also please share with me if you broke down and weren’t 100% honest and why.

It is extreme honesty month and women crave men who are men of their words.

If you tell a woman you’re going to call her, then you call her.

If you have sex with a woman, you don’t become text dependent. You don’t text her for two days. You get on the phone and you call her. You don’t substitute text conversations thinking that they’re real conversations.

Real men are men of their word.  

Women crave it, women desire it, and women deserve it. It makes them feel secure. It makes them feel good about showing their body, their heart, their soul, and their everything-else with you.

When you tell a friend you’re going to help him move on Saturday, you show up and you do it no matter what.

When you tell somebody you’re going to pick them up from the airport and you don’t feel like it at the last minute, you either pick them up or you pay for their cab.

It’s about becoming a man of your word. What you say is what you do.

There are a lot of talkers out there. They talk the talk but when it comes down to walking the walk, they have absolutely no concept of how to do it.

If you break your word with somebody, the first thing you need to do is apologize and explain yourself and admit that you were wrong.

There are no excuses in life and we’re full of them.

I was going to call you, but time ran out.

I was thinking about you, I texted you.

No. You call when you say you’re going to call. Women crave it, women desire it, and women deserve it.

Become a man of your word. That’s what this month is all about: becoming extremely honest.

If you run into somebody and they confront you on something that hurt them in the past, instead of going into defense mode, man up.

Look at them straight in the eyes and say, “You know what, I was wrong, you were right.”

It’s going to throw them a bit. They’re going to look at you and say, “You don’t really need to explain yourself,” and that’s when you become an even better man.

You look at them and say, “Yes I do, you deserve it. You deserve an explanation, you deserve the truth. And I feel honored to be able to deliver it to you.”

No more white lies.

No more beating around the bush.

Ask for what you want. Make promises that you can keep and if you don’t keep the promises, admit your mistake and become a man of your word.

. . .

I hope everybody had a really good week.

Share with me some of your breakthroughs, some of your raw, honest moments.

And also please share with me if you broke down and weren’t 100% honest and why.

It is extreme honesty month and women crave men who are men of their words.

If you tell a woman you’re going to call her, then you call her.

If you have sex with a woman, you don’t become text dependent. You don’t text her for two days. You get on the phone and you call her. You don’t substitute text conversations thinking that they’re real conversations.

Real men are men of their word.  

Women crave it, women desire it, and women deserve it. It makes them feel secure. It makes them feel good about showing their body, their heart, their soul, and their everything-else with you.

When you tell a friend you’re going to help him move on Saturday, you show up and you do it no matter what.

When you tell somebody you’re going to pick them up from the airport and you don’t feel like it at the last minute, you either pick them up or you pay for their cab.

It’s about becoming a man of your word. What you say is what you do.

There are a lot of talkers out there. They talk the talk but when it comes down to walking the walk, they have absolutely no concept of how to do it.

If you break your word with somebody, the first thing you need to do is apologize and explain yourself and admit that you were wrong.

There are no excuses in life and we’re full of them.

I was going to call you, but time ran out.

I was thinking about you, I texted you.

No. You call when you say you’re going to call. Women crave it, women desire it, and women deserve it.

Become a man of your word. That’s what this month is all about: becoming extremely honest.

If you run into somebody and they confront you on something that hurt them in the past, instead of going into defense mode, man up.

Look at them straight in the eyes and say, “You know what, I was wrong, you were right.”

It’s going to throw them a bit. They’re going to look at you and say, “You don’t really need to explain yourself,” and that’s when you become an even better man.

You look at them and say, “Yes I do, you deserve it. You deserve an explanation, you deserve the truth. And I feel honored to be able to deliver it to you.”

No more white lies.

No more beating around the bush.

Ask for what you want. Make promises that you can keep and if you don’t keep the promises, admit your mistake and become a man of your word.

. . .

I hope everybody had a really good week.

Share with me some of your breakthroughs, some of your raw, honest moments.

And also please share with me if you broke down and weren’t 100% honest and why.

So you’ve got a date coming up.

Here’s what most people do:

They will set a standard time to meet—let’s say 7:00, 7:30.

Then they’ll text to confirm, and the text will usually be something bland and boring like this:

I’ll see you tonight at 7:00! Looking forward to it.

Wow, great! Sounds like every other text she’s ever received. It doesn’t sound like anything fun, interesting, different—nothing to pre-arouse her before the date.

I was talking with a client yesterday on the phone. He was taking a girl out later for a scavenger hunt. So I told him, throughout the day drop little clues and little hints about where you’re going to meet her, and maybe some ideas of what you’re going to do—without actually telling her.

You do this because it pre-arouses her. It gets her all intrigued. It gets her really interested in what you are about to do.

And it’s fun! And it’s different! And if you like her and think she’s cool, then you’re showing her a side of your personality that’s playful and fun.

To be honest with you, I do this when I find somebody interesting, because I want somebody to be fun, playful back right at me.

I date her the way I want her to date me. — Click to Tweet

I’ll send her little fun texts, trying to intrigue her mind, because I want a woman to do that back to me.

When I’m in the pre-arousal period, I’m going to see the type of person that I’ll be hanging with—I’ll see if she can play along with me or if she’s fun.

How she responds during this time tells me a lot about who she is as a woman. Is she fun, is she playful, is she uptight, is she tense, is she spontaneous? And that shows a lot of things.

And don’t forget: most people don’t do this! So it shows her that she’s with somebody who’s in complete control.

And let’s be honest: women want to be led. They want a man that’s in control. They like to be told what to do. They like to be told when to show up. And as long as you can tell them when to show up and what to wear, they’ll all be fighting for the date with you.

Most guys are so boring. And that’s the reason why they don’t get a second date. It’s about having fun.

So the next time you date, do something a little different. Intrigue her with some texts. Make her think a little bit. And more importantly, have her anticipate the date all day long. Because, to her, dating is just foreplay; the more she anticipates going out with you, the better the connection you’ll have.

It’s all about anticipation with women.

Don’t be a standard dater.  Be somebody who’s creative and playful and understands what dating is all about.

If you don’t really understand what dating is all about, I strongly suggest you check this out right now:

http://www.davidwygant.com/art-of-close 

It’s time that you started getting second dates, third dates, fifth dates, and home-runs.

It’s time to stop being a one-and-doner.

Create intrigue. Get her aroused. Find success.

So, I was at Whole Foods with a client the other night…

…

That’s fine. Go ahead and make the jokes right now:

David is talking about Whole Foods? Here we go again.  

Mr. Whole Foods: you must own stock in Whole Foods!  

Yeah, I know what you all say.  I see the funny things online.  I read some of the comments.  They’re saying that I only shop at Whole Foods.

Well all right, listen up: who cares if it’s Whole Foods.  It could be Ralph, Safeway, A&P, Piggly Wiggly, Winn-Dixie—doesn’t matter.  Could be any one of those.  Who cares?

Call it a supermarket.

Anyway, my client and I were walking around.  This woman was walking towards us and he looked at her.  And she looked at us.

He looked at me and he said, “We should just turn around and talk to her right now.”

I said, “No. We’re going to look all creepy-stalker-esque—you don’t do that.  We need to walk-around and circle back.”

Either you talk to her right at that moment—as I talk about in my program Undercover Approaches—or you do The Circle-Back.

(And you need to click that link and learn about the program if you really want to get good at this. Here’s my extreme honest little pitch: buy it.  You’ll understand what I’m talking about better and you’ll become better.)

So anyway, I looked at him and said, “We’ll go down the aisle, then the aisle next to it.  We will bump into her again.”

So we walked around, circled back through a couple aisles, and—imagine that—there she was.

“Bingo,” I said.

“Hello,” he said.

We smiled, we talked, and she was at ease.

Here’s the deal: if a woman looks at you and you don’t say anything immediately, but then turn around instantly and follow her down the aisle to go talk to her, you’re going to creep her out.  She’s not going to want to talk to you.  She’s going to run away.

If you smile, look at her, and then walk away, and then basically do the circle back and talk to her a few minutes later, it’s going to be natural, easy, calm, and she’s going to be open to a conversation.

A lot of you guys do the creeper-follow, and that’s why she doesn’t want to talk to you.

Learn the art of the Circle-Back, and you’ll be far better at meeting women that you don’t approach immediately.

Have a good, honest, fun night.